It's a Wonderful Life, Even after Divorce

As the holidays are upon us, it is a time for reflection and thanks.  While going through a divorce can be a time of crisis and pain, I encourage my clients to look inward and find the goodness in their life that will exist even after the divorce. 

I have asked some of my own clients to share their own stories about their divorces.  I will let them tell you their stories in their own words, with the names omitted for privacy.  I am sure that you will be as inspired as I was.

• "While my divorce process may have been long and difficult, I not only found solace in Wendy's expertise and kindness, but in my newfound sense of self and thirst for life.  After the divorce was finalized, I finally found myself able to move on.  While saddened by the dissolution of my marriage, I was also excited to live on my own terms after 13 years.  I was no longer afraid to try new things, to fail, to laugh, to cry, to live.  I joined a belly dancing class and not only realized that, yes, my hips CAN move that way, but also found an appreciation for my body, belly and all.  I signed up for piano lessons with my son and we laugh and fight over the keys when playing duets together.  I also, once again, found pleasure in my own talents.  I was promoted at work because of research and funding I acquired for the university. Bolstered by my success, I submitted articles and am in the final stages of a chapter for a collection of authors in a prestigious publishing house.  And finally, I found my friends again; friends who had always been there for me, but friends who I had placed aside in my quest for pleasing someone who could never be satisfied.  Never again will I set aside my life or my friends for anyone; for I have found that family can come from many different places.  Happiness comes from experiencing life and all of its complexities, and love comes first and foremost, from loving oneself."

• "As this holiday season quickly approaches, I find myself wandering in three different directions.  Whether you are newly divorced, or in the middle of the process, the holiday season is a time for reflection.  Regardless of whether that reflection leaves you in good spirits or bad, you must reflect on your current situation and keep in mind the good things that surround you.  It is easy to sit around during this time and contemplate what once was… or the things you used to have.  The challenge is being able to truly embrace the holiday season and be thankful for those things that you still have or the great things that have recently entered into your life.  This feeling is then buttressed by the hope and anticipation of the future; the ability to re-start your life.  You have been handed the ability to start fresh; the ability to start a new life, with new traditions and opportunities."

That is truly inspiring. Thank you to my clients for boldly sharing their stories. I am sure they would encourage you all to take a moment this season and reflect on that for which you are thankful. 

Happy Holidays to you all!