Want to Stay Married? Treat your Spouse like a Valentine Every Day

Question:  A Northville Patch reader asked:  “Because you see divorces on a daily basis, what do you think are red flags in marriages that lead to divorce?”

Answer:  Since Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, rather than talk about red flags, I will respond with advice from a local marriage counselor on how to keep your marriage healthy and happy.

It is true that as a Northville divorce lawyer, I see couples divorcing on a daily basis.  Because of this, I do often see certain types of behavior that seem to be common as marriages fall apart.  However, because Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, instead of focusing on red flags, I thought it would be helpful to talk about what things a couple could do to keep their marriage happy and healthy.

I spoke again with Dr. Gail Majcher, a Northville psychologist and marriage counselor.  Dr. Gail has been counseling couples for 30 years.  I asked Dr. Gail if she could share with us what she considered to be the top five signs of a healthy marriage. 

Wendy Alton:  “Dr. Gail, in your experience, are there things that a couple can do to keep their marriage happy, and if so, what are the top 5 signs of a healthy marriage?”

Dr. Gail:  “There are definitely things a couple can do to keep their marriage happy!  In my experience, these are the top 5 signs of a healthy marriage:

1. Communication.  Couples should not only both speak their feelings, but they should also both genuinely listen.  One-sided communication doesn’t work.
2. Laughter.  “A merry heart does good like a medicine.”  Proverbs 17:22.  Laughter can wipe away hurt and miscommunication.  Suddenly big issues feel smaller.
3. Appreciation.  Couples should speak appreciation each day about something or anything to each other, and also speak appreciation each day about their partner to others.
4. Date Night.  Couples should have a date night at least once a week.  This is especially important when there are children in the home.
5. Vacation.  Couples should take a vacation at least twice a year.  Getting away from the routines of life help us to remember how much we enjoy our partner."

Seems simple, right?  As with everything, I would assume that it is more about doing it than just knowing it.  As a Northville marriage counselor, Dr. Gail can attest that a couple can make their marriage better by following the 5 simple steps above.  Is it worth it?  As a Northville divorce attorney, I can say without a doubt that there are no winners in divorce, and divorce comes at a high emotional and financial cost.  If you can save your marriage and make it healthier and happier, then yes, it is most definitely worth it!

Dr. Gail is a local Northville psychologist who published a book called “A Worthy Woman: Victory over Domestic Violence, a True Story and Self-Help Book.”  She is also WJR's co-host of "Sunday Sessions," a psychological edu-taining show about mental health issues. Dr. Gail can be reached at (248) 345-5050, and her office is at 114 Rayson, Suite One D, Northville.

The information provided in this column is not legal advice.  The information provided on this public website is provided solely for the general interest of the visitors to this website. The information contained in the column applies to general principles of law and may not reflect current legal developments or statutory changes in the various jurisdictions and therefore should not be relied upon or interpreted as legal advice. Reading the information contained in this column does not mean that you have established an attorney-client relationship with attorney Wendy Alton or the law firm of Fausone Bohn.  Readers of this column should not act upon any information contained in the website without first seeking the advice of legal counsel.